Who is recording our every move?

Enjoy ourselves

Life is short, and it is important to live our lives as we see fit and to enjoy ourselves while doing it.  Of course, we should be ethical, but we shouldn't take ourselves too seriously.  Recently, I saw a group of bagpipers entertaining a crowd.  I snapped a pic of them like many others. I admired how they could play outside in the wind and with a bit of rain.  I loved the energy of the crowd.  Looking at the photo, we can see all of the people watching, listening and most likely recording the group.  But in life in general, we are not like the band members. People may or may not pay epic attention to us, but we should never let it be to our detriment. 

Let people think what they think

One common theme I see in counselling is people worried about what people think or may think of them.  My job at times can be to help people care a little less. This can be a surprising concept for many. I am not encouraging them to become lax and sloppy, but to hold things a little lighter.  When training to run a few years ago, the trainer would say, "Run as if you are holding a potato chip in your hand".  I got it.  It is important not to be too tense, otherwise you will run out of energy.  It is important to relax a little, and then, ironically, we can have more power within us. When people are together with others, in a crowd or out in the work environment, there can be many pressures to be seen to act in a certain way.  This can also happen in a home environment when over at the in-laws or, as many say, the 'outlaws'.  Family dynamics can make people at times uncomfortable, and they feel they need to put on an act or 'save face'.  Counselling can be a safe place to explore these aspects of life and an opportunity for clients to delve into their perception of others and how they feel they relate to who they are themselves.  To take time to work on one's own identity is an important part of development that isn't always organic.  Depending on our family of origin, some people have had more freedom to explore and become who they feel they are or are destined to be in time.  The key component in our evolution is, I believe, finding the balance between caring and not caring what people think of us.  As my father used to say when I was younger, "You can't worry about what people will think, they will think whatever they will think anyway".

How could counselling help you feel better about yourself?

One of the aspects of cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) that I like is "Thought Stopping".  Taking a moment in life to stop and take stock of what we are thinking, feeling and doing in the moment. How do we view things? What is the truth of the situation? What are the facts before us to establish that?  Then, when we have evaluated a situation, is there a way to consider things from a different perspective?   Just like the people crowding around the bagpipers in the photo here, there are many ways to look at and appreciate the group.  In the same way in counselling, we can move the angle and view to examine and decide what is the best stance to have in life for yourself.  Don't worry about what others may or may not think of you; live life, breathe, make your mark.  Hopefully, then, those who do take time to stop and listen and watch you will enjoy being with you, and you, too, will feel fulfilled that you are very much a part of this world and have something to give to others.